What is Adultery? Adultery occurs when one of the spouses in a marriage commits unfaithfulness-they have sexual relations with another person. However, can adultery also be committed in the name of a friendship? Of course it can. These are understood as Affairs of the Heart.
The Whispering Voices of Adultery are subtle-you have to listen carefully, or you could miss them. When one’s eyes catch the eyes of someone else, and glances ensue, could this be the start of something exciting but dangerous?-for we are- marrieds. Perhaps. Glances turn into stares, and stares turn into thoughts; constant thoughts of the other-maybe these thoughts are pursued one way, maybe pursued both ways; nevertheless the thoughts start to consume, and an affair of the heart is about to occur.
What is an affair of the heart and why is it wrong among married people? The heart is the door to the soul, and the eyes are the window to the heart. Therefore, if the eyes and the heart are not guarded; they open, allowing for an involvement, in something that can ultimately destroy us if we allow that to happen. Of course if we have betrothed our hearts and beings to another-under the mighty hand of God, we are tied to that other person in both body and soul till in death we do part, unless circumstances merit a certificate of divorce, such as unfaithfulness in the marriage. Furthermore, there may be other circumstances that are present, such as one spouse’s refusal to change or maybe they are unable to, and are unwilling to deal with themselves. Of course, issues in marriage may not be black and white-but we take our marriage vows in hopes of faithfulness in every regard. Do we not?
However, in returning to the issue of Adultery and affairs of the heart- there may be another attraction happening in front of us, who knows, maybe if this continues-love will happen and we can start new with this other person. After all, what I am feeling is new, exhilarating, and it could be love! These thoughts and feelings can inevitably happen-whether they be happening in the workplace, at church, at your child’s school, for example, (while waiting to pick up our children after the school day) at the recreation center, or some other place in this world…
And…The Whispering Voices of Adultery, and Affairs of the Heart are okay-right? as long as we keep them hidden, turn down their volume and continue on our way-in ignorance and defiance of what we know is wrong. These voices tell us that having a strong attraction to someone else when we are married is normal-(This may be so-but acting on that is the issue) and so why not act on them, indulge them, because it is so very fun, and so refreshing to attract the attentions of someone else-someone other than our spouse.
We know these voices are deceivers, are not real-so by praying and asking God to keep us faithful, both in body and mind, we are bringing both blessing and peace to our lives, because we know we have done what is right in the sight of our God. By putting our trust in him, he works out our lives for us, and rescues us from evil in whatever circumstance that would be. “The Lord keeps you from all evil and preserves your life, the Lord watches over you as you come and go, both now and forever more.” Psalm 121:7-8
The following Bible verses deal with adultery:
- Exodus 20:14- “Do not commit adultery”
- Proverbs 6:32- “But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul.”
- Matthew 5:28-“But I say anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
- Jeremiah 7:9-11″Do you really think you can steal, commit adultery, lie, and worship Baal and all those other new Gods of yours, and then come in here and stand before me in my temple and chant, “We are safe!”-only to go right back to all those evils again? “I see all the evil going on there, says the Lord.”
In John 8:3-11 the Pharisees and teachers of religious law brought a woman caught in the act of adultery to him-and said that she should be stoned-so Jesus said to them to go ahead and stone her, but whoever had never sinned could throw the first stone. They knew they could not stone her as they had of course sinned, and so they walked away. As the accusers walked away, Jesus said for her to look and see that there are no accusers around her-and that they did not condemn her-and neither did he. Jesus told her to “go and sin no more.”
Adultery can and does happen to those of the highest moral lives and integrity. There is forgiveness in Christ Jesus-he loves us, and wants the best for our lives. “For I know the plans I have for you says the lord, plans of good and not of evil, to give you a hope and a future.”Jeremiah 29:11
Sources: Holy Bible, New Living Translation
copyright 2011 Deidre R. Bissonette